And If I Die Before I Wake - The Beginning

On this early Saturday morning, I am pulled from my sleep by this strange experience called sunshine!  The light sifts through my blinds reminding me of how much I have missed waking up to this thing called sun. I love waking up to sunshine! 

Soon it will be my birthday and I will put another slash mark on the mental wall that I have completed another year here on earth.  I was born in 1950.  That sounds OLD.  OLD!  But I will share about OLD at another time perhaps on my actual birthday.   Today I do not feel OLD.  I have no desire to focus on OLD but I am going to focus on dying.   Dying is subject that most people choose to avoid.  A 'life' event that none of us will avoid but we too often pretend that it never happens.  We do not 'live' knowing that our days our numbered but they are! We just do not know what that number is.

My father was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. He is in his 80's.  He is scared.  He has made it this far in life trying to figure things out on his own.  He is a survivor in so many areas but like all of the human race he will not survive what we all try to avoid, dying.  His age alone would state that the number of his earthly days are drawing to a close.  This new diagnosis makes us know that the countdown to his earthly life passing is sooner than he planned. 

I live in Chicago.  He lives in Oregon.  I won't be near him often enough, to help with the day to day issues he will face.  The fear of suffering and pain is huge in his thinking. I get it!  I have lost too many people I love to death or at least earth ending death.  (He won't be alone, he has a family who will walk with him down this path.)

As I have pondered this scenario.  I know I have one constant resource that I can give to him and that is prayer.    He knows Jesus.  He knows he will be in heaven when he leaves this earth.  Like most of us, the unknown is unsettling.  My prayer blogs will be a small attempt to help direct his thoughts to the only one who can calm him, hold him and carry him into the place we call eternity.  I will mail these postings to him, for he does not use the Internet.  I share these prayers in hopes that others may be able to grasp what an awesome thing it is to know God our creator and lover of our souls.   When we leave this earth it is not the end of life, it is just the beginning of what we call eternity.

Dear Lord Jesus,

When I acknowledged that you are my God, my Lord and the savior of my soul, I was at peace.  I was thankful and delighted in this new found knowledge of being loved by the creator of the world.  You have put up with me, guided me, humored me, and waited for me as I walked life in my own strength.  You have never left me.  You are always waiting at the spot I walked away from you.  You are always there to rescue me from me. 

Today I know that my life on this earth is short.  Short for certain in the measure of eternity, the never ending place you reside.  Short, in light of grasping the fact that what I have always known is going to go away.  Short, because I still have an agenda for what I want to do or become.  Short, because I do not know anything else and dying scares me beyond words.

My humanness is all I know.  I know I must reach out to you for this next chapter in life called death.  I cling to promises you have made in your word to me, the Bible.  I am weak in my trust. But trust I must for there is no other place to land.  I claim back for me, the Psalm from David who was facing death, who was a soldier who fought each battle knowing that you were the one who allowed him to live or to die, for he trusted You.  Your word tells me death is not in vain if I call on you as my saviour.  Death is just the passage for me to come to you.  Because you promise to hear my prayers I ask that you walk with me through this valley that I fear.  I ask that you give me peace knowing you are awaiting my arrival in heaven, my forever home.  Amen


 "Precious in the sight of the Lord are the death of His saints."   Psalm 116:15 (Bible)

 "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.  And this is why: so that no one need to be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.  God didn't go to all of the trouble of sending his Son merely to to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was.  He came to help, to put the world right again.  Anyone who trusts in Him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust Him as long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to Him.  John 3:26 (Bible- The Message - translation) 

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." w. wallace

On this Monday night in April I have come back to my blog to do some reflecting on life, family, friendships and death.  Because I am blessed with so many experiences that draw me into the lives of people, places and things I am also pulled into the sad side of life as well.  My blog title says so much,  "Every man (woman) dies.  Not every man (woman) really lives."  My musings will hopefully cause those who choose to read this to be aware of their mortality and to embrace the gifts that life brings.

One year ago I made a rushed trip to TN.  I had a dear friend who was dying and she made it known to her family that she wanted to see me.  Her condition was deteriorating quickly, as that horrible disease called cancer was winning.  I had been out of town and did not know if I could make it in time.  My prayer was answered and I did make it,  45 minutes was all that was left of her earthly life but I made it!!  The simple tear drop told me she knew I was there and then she left this earth. To have been summoned by her as she was dying is perhaps the highest compliment a friend can give. I remain humbled by this request.

That same trip one year ago, I was able to visit another dear and special friend who was also battling cancer.  She was in a better state physically. We were able to visit, share pizza together and enjoy the gift of time, family and friendship.  I knew deep down in my heart that when I left TN that it would be the last time I saw her this side of eternity.  I was right a few weeks ago she too was taken out of this life by cancer. 



Both of these fun, incredible, beautiful, strong full of life ladies changed my life in so many ways.  The dash between the dates of their births and their deaths was time well spent.  Both were awesome mothers and wives, they contributed to life in their work, their love for others and in giving.  Both had zeal and zest for life.  Both chose to include me as a friend.



I now am facing the fact that my father has cancer, sooner than later he will not be here on earth any longer.  The dash between his birth and the days left on this earth are few. He is in his 80's.   His mortality and preparing to leave this earth again makes me reflect on mine.  Life is so fleeting.

As ponder the brevity of life and the impact that we as humans have on each others lives I am praying that I end well. Is someone better because they spent time with me or  you?  Are my actions such that another person is inspired to become the 'best' they can be?   Have I cared more about others than myself?  What difference does it make that I have lived?

When the final day of my life here on earth is etched upon my grave stone , will the  dash between the dates have made an impact on this place called earth?   Will someone have been better off, encouraged, given hope, made to smile because I was alive?

What will be said of the 'dash' between the dates of your life? My two friends, Cathey Harrell Tierney and Pam Riddell made a difference, they allowed me to be their friend and have impacted me forever. I am closing with two quotes.  One from the Bible the other from a deep theologian, Erma Bombeck, both resound with a message I have chosen to embrace.  What is your resolve on life?

"For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better."  Philippians 1:20-21 Bible

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say 'I used everything you gave me.' " Erma Bombeck

It is December! Buy me a....?

   I love December!  I love the festive focus that permeates our culture.  I love giving.  I love sharing time with friends, I love the desire to create a time of celebration.  Can you imagine not having a time set aside time to focus on others or significant spiritual truths?  How sad and boring our lives would be!

Oh, do not get me wrong, the materialism, the greed, the focus on accumulating more 'stuff' is not ignored or missed or even endorsed.  I so do not enjoy that aspect of this season.   The desire to remove Jesus Christ from the mix because 'He' is found offensive or irrelevant  also hits my radar.   However, that does not deter me from celebrating, giving and delighting in what is important.   Why should I allow those who are self absorbed rob me and those around me of the true joy found in the true meaning of Christmas?

Perhaps you are asking yourself where is she going with this train of thought, given my focus in this blog has been on Zambia.  Well, since the question is raised, the answer is in giving.   How many of you are asked what you want for Christmas?   You are stumped!  You have the electronic gadgets that you 'need'.  You have clothes on your back, your closets are full to capacity.  You have food for your table.  You have 'stuff' crammed in closets, garage and perhaps a storage unit for your 'extra stuff'.  You have jewelry you have not worn in years from past Christmas' or you have ugly ties and sweaters that still have the tags on them from previous years.  You are flowing in the abundance of 'stuff'.  However we are still asked "What do I 'want' for Christmas?".

Step outside our affluent culture with me to this 3rd world place called Zambia.  Ask any one of them what they would like for Christmas and they would not have to think.  Water!   Food!  Medicine!  It does not get more simple that that!  They have no room for 'stuff'.   A grass hut gives shelter from night animals, sand blowing and rain.  But water, food and a chance to be or get well is a heart longing of every human being.




In this blog I want you to begin to think of 'not' accumulating more 'stuff' for you, your children, your grandchildren, your bosses or .... but give a gift of life to a child in their name.  Most of us can do both!

Today's blog is a focus on giving a goat!    A goat!   Yes a goat.   Goats give, milk, cheese, meat and perhaps a new business the one who receives it, a simple small goat will change lives.   My sarcastic bent would be encourage you to buy a goat card as gift, for that 'old goat' in your life who does not appreciate much of anything.  A child's life and family will be changed forever. :)    I know from experience that a child in your life would love that another child can live because you helped them give a goat! 

    


http://www.handsofhopeonline.org/giftcards.asp

HANDS OF HOPE (http://www.handsofhopeonline.org) can make this happen!!  Please check us out!  I LOVE this organization because there is no red tape and all of my money goes to the projects, ALL.   You can click on to the site and have a card sent to your loved one just like these above. They are beautiful cards that will not be forgotten, tossed aside or thrown away.  You will have blessed the one you have gifted and the receiver of the goat whose life may be forever changed.

Merry Christmas!

Acts 20:35 (Bible)  Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” 

Christmas is Coming!

It is Black Friday. Why black?  Because each retail store here in the US desires to end its year in the 'black' not in debt.  I am all for being out of debt no complaints here!   I am not at all about greed and acquiring stuff.  I am about giving, for me there is no greater joy. 

Children in America will create their list(s) and parents will scramble for the hottest toy around.  These lists are created in the midst of last years toys that are piled or stored in closets forgotten in the search for new. Black Friday millions of American shoppers will stand in line to be the first into a store to get that ultimate deal of the season. Let the games begin.

I could find no toys in Mongu!  I have two grand daughters who truly are blessed beyond description in all aspects of life.  When I travel I generally bring them back a 'present'.  That is code for 'toy'.   For when you are 4 and 6 years of age, 'toys' are the best gifts of all. :)  I told them that would bring them home a 'present'.  So you can be certain I was on the look out.

I regret missing one photo.  It was a toy....a ball made of rags.  In the pictures that follow I captured pictures of the few toys I found.    The push toy is 'hand made'.  Note too, the age of the 'child' pushing his toy.  He loved that we were interested in seeing it.  I am guessing it was his creation.

The soccer game photo below is being played with a very old, deflated ball.

At each of the villages that we visited we saw lots of children, beautiful children that delighted in just being acknowledged.   I peaked when appropriate into the many huts surrounding our visits.  Minimal is an understatement to describe the material goods of a given family.  These huts were protection from the night and the elements, they housed a few cooking utensils and little else.  Toys, a luxury beyond description.

We found this push toy when visiting a family that had a 'hammer mill' business. (Another story for another blog.)  The children were shy so they allowed Susan and Eloise 'play'.  Note what this toy was made out of.  (click on photo to enlarge). 

 

As I shop this year for my family and for those I love, my desire is to also share with those outside of the US who truly are in need.  You can't ship your toys over seas but you can contribute to a better life.  Water and food are gifts that sustain, give hope and life.  For each child you buy a gift for, consider buying a gift for a Zambian child.   http://www.handsofhopeonline.org/giftcards.asp this is one gift that won't be discarded after opening, stuffed in a closet or put in a garage sale this spring.  It is life giving.   Why don't you share this opportunity with your family and friends?  Let me know if you are 'in'!!!!!

"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35 (Bible)

What Makes you Thankful?

What makes you Thankful?  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the United States.  It is a legal holiday set aside for us to reflect upon the things that we hold near and dear to our hearts.  It is one of my favorite holidays.  I love the traditions that we celebrate.  I love the intentional focus of this day!  I am so blessed and God has shown such favor on my life, that I am humbled beyond words.  If everything that I have were removed from me tomorrow I still remain a very fortunate human being.  I deserve nothing that I have and to say that I am grateful seems trite.

As an American the privileges and the blessings dictate that we bless others.  As a follower of Jesus Christ, He mandated that I  'Owe no one anything except to love one another,..'.  (Bible, Romans 13:8a).   Love is not just a verb, it is an adjective and a noun.  It requires action and involvement apart from feeling.  It is a duty with great rewards. Someone benefits, always, by another's love. 

What I am discovering about me, that I am not liking so much, is that there are too many things of late, I do not like or want to do. Why is this a problem?  The problem lies in the fact that my dislikes come from the abundant blessings that have been bestowed upon me.  Stop for a minute and think about your lists of discontent.  Is it a job, laundry, cleaning your home, grocery shopping, going to a doctor, doing daily chores?  Each of these things are abundant blessings most of the world cannot experience.  I have the luxury of choice!  

As I reflect upon the state of the world, the poverty, the lack of medicine and clean water,  the wars, the abuse of people, etc.  I could become discouraged.  What can just one individual do to make a difference?  However, I have learned that one person can make a huge and wonderful difference! 

One smile can give encouragement, one random act of kindness can give hope, one selfless deed can soften a hardened heart, one financial donation can open a door for a better life.   None of these suggestions require a lot of money or even effort.  It requires thinking about someone beside yourself and acting upon it.  

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.  
Albert Einstein

 I weary of those whose wish list is to obtain 'more' of something.  When John D. Rockefeller was asked “how much would be enough?” he answered “just a little bit more.”   "Just a little bit more..." means we are never satisfied.  In this entry my desire is to encourage you to stop long enough and think about what you have.  Can you be content?  Do you need more to make you happy?  Will you really be happy?  I am here to tell you 'stuff' and 'wealth' do not make a happy content person.  Giving back to others is where true happiness is found.

The happiest and most content people I know are those who give to others and do for others.  They do not focus on what they can get out of the arrangement but what they can do next to make another persons life better.    As you look at the photos below the pictures represent housing, health needs, shopping, indulgences such as toys, and jobs.  Do you still wish to pine and complain?

Are you stuck on how to give, how to help, how to change your focus?  Let me know :)  When we realize that life is not about us we then we soon become content.

These are very nice huts.  4 walls made of mud, the roof it thatched and the cooking is done outside over a fire pit.  The floor of the huts are sand. 

This young mother and her baby have AIDS.  Though smiling she will not see the end of 2013.

This is 'it' for a toy.  It was hand made, he was content and he was very proud to show us what he made.

This a mother shopping.  These clothes are our castoffs.  Castoffs from Good Will, Salvation Army and such.

 

After harvesting his crop, he must sell it to earn his wage.

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Today marks the birthday of my daughter Kara. She entered heaven 8 years ago at the age of 25. This year I am a bit more melancholy and teary than normal.  When someone you love dies, they never leave you. When a child goes before you, a part of you is torn from your heart.   Though you may heal to a degree of functioning without the one you lost, a scar remains forever.  Scars are reminders of a wound that healed, but a memory of pain that has left its mark. 

I became a part of Hands of Hope (handsofhopeonline.org) because of a water project several years ago.  The thought of not having water to drink hit a very big chord with me.  Water, apart from air it is the most critical element of life. A healthy child's body is 77% water!  Adults percentage drops just a bit but it is always over 50%!   

Water is what kept Kara alive for many years.  She was severe diabetic with blood sugar levels for several years averaging 500-800.  Water, water, water was what she craved.  She drank it, she had it pumped into her with saline solutions and electrolytes  but water was the critical life link. 

When I became aware of how precious and scarce water is to so much of the world I wept.   Kara would have died by the age of 10 or 11 had she lived outside the western world.  She had plenty of water. Water, clean fresh water, she had only to ask and it was there for her.  How blessed and fortunate for us to live here where we could meet that one simple, vital need for her. 

With knowledge comes responsibility.  How could we just put our blessings on a shelf and ignore that  'Kara's' in other parts of the world needed this vital element of life.  Typhoid, diphtheria, malaria and a myriad of other water born diseases are killing children daily!  Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers too, mourn the loss of a family member and in their situations clean water could have avoided these deaths.

Beginning today, should you choose to follow my blogs, making people aware of the needs for wells will be a resounding message, theme and plea.  Right now my focus for wells is in the Western Provence of Zambia.  The need is world wide but I cannot affect the whole world, so I will focus here.

One well that will give a village fresh water costs mere $5000!  My mission is get money for 8 wells this year, 2012. Why 8?  Because it is cost efficient to dig more than one well at a time and this number just scratches the surface of the need.   10 is the target # we have money currently for 2.   

It is such a simple mission.  If 100 people donate $50.00 a village can get a well!  That is all!   My personal mission is to have at least 2 'Kara's Well' sites.   What I would love to see happen,  is if a neighborhood, a youth group, a scout troop, a diabetes support group or ??, help me raise money for your own well.  You will get a plaque, it is yours to honor someone you love.  You will know where your well exists, you will know that you have helped to keep people alive!  When I go back next year I will show you 'your well'.   What do you think? 

Spend a few minutes contemplating these pictures. I am forever changed having watched this water collection unfold.  This could be your daughter, niece, your sister.  When you give a well you give a beginning to life.  
 

We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love. -- Mother Theresa

Interested?  I do hope so.  You can go on line and give (handsofhopeonline.org)  If you want to get your own well, let me know!  Is there someone you want to remember by giving life to another? Christmas is a great time to give this gift. Bring your family into the process. 

Every dollar you give will go to the well project!  We have no employees or buildings here in the US.  We have no overhead.  It is awesome.  Will you pass this plea on?  Will you join me in providing such a simple but dire need to others just like this little girl?  

Thank you for taking the time to read this and allow me to share such profound and life changing moments.  I am responsible to share what I have seen and engage others to join in helping to change the lives who have no hope without our help.  If you want to help with the "Kara's Well" project that too would be a gift.  This is a mission I must fulfill.  I cannot do it alone but $50+ from lots of people will get the 10 wells dug by summer.  :)

For it is in giving that we receive.  Saint Francis of Assisi

Vera Bradley goes to Mongu!

Grocery Shopping in Mongu! Product from a loan recipient.

It has been a month since my last entry.  The pace of my life is hectic but never boring,  busy but rarely mundane and generally full of some unplanned experience that give me too many life lessons.  This past month can be defined this way however,  I cannot let 'life' distract me.  I want to get back to Mongu, Zambia.

Once again I peel off a different layer of my Zambian experiences.   There were multiple adventures in a given day.  8 days of so many facets. I personally needed more time to 'slowly' absorb all that was unfolding before me.   The people are incredible, longing to survive and have hope.  As I dissect what I discovered, hopefully I will cast a vision for someone to help me, as I desire to help others. These forgotten overlooked people are worth fighting for!

As we prepared to leave for Zamiba, we collected many, many gifts to bring for those we were going to visit and encourage.  Sharing this next story is such fun!  Today's post is wonderfully random. Vera Bradley goes to Mongu! We will not be in the bush today! 
  
Vera Bradley for those of you who do not know the name is a designer of cloth handbags, totes, pocket books, stationary, etc. etc. etc.  You only find her stores in upscale malls or perhaps on line.  She has a huge presence in the western world.   Each season the fabric and some of the styles change.   For the die hard Vera groupies to be caught with last years 'anything' is a fashion 'no no'!  I have no clue if Vera Bradley is still alive, but her following is and is going strong. 

A week before we left the US,  I happened to be at a mall hosting their annual Side Walk Sales.  The weather was perfect for such an event and by all appearances the stores were selling a great deal of product this day.  Vera Bradley's venue was particularly busy.  It reminded me of an I Love Lucy sitcom.  The ladies were frantically going through the bins and tubs of overstocked Vera. This was a sale not to be missed!

Watching this sale frenzy unfold, my Hands of Hope mentor and friend's voice jumped into my head, "You never know if someone will give you anything unless you ask!" Armed with excitement and fortitude I walked through the maze of very determined shoppers and asked to speak with the manager! The manager no less on Side Walk Sale madness day!  To my surprise and delight she gave  me 10 VB bags to gift start up business women in Africa!  She shared that Vera Bradley loved to give to these types of projects. With these great bags in hand, I was excited to head off to this unknown place called Mongu! 

Below are 'our ladies'!  Woman who now run a business because of generous, caring people that provide funds through Hands of Hope for small loans!

Isn't she beautiful?  Her radiance and her excitement were felt the moment we met her.  I wish I had caught her name. Getting African women to smile is quite hard.  As you see the smiles on these faces know it was from the heart. :)

 The four ladies on the left, borrowed money from our micro finance loan project. They each have a kiosk in the market and are thriving They actually work side by side!

This lady was giddy with the receiving of her gift!  A treasure! However, her real joy in
meeting us was that she had a chance to earn a living! 

Eloise, Susan, our merchant and m

This lady's kiosk is small however, she has one of the first shops as we entered the market.  These photo's do not capture the excitement and surprise at meeting us, her benefactors and then to receive a gift.

 Hands of Hope (Barrington,IL)  provides micro finance loans to help Zambian women move out of poverty, give them a skill and a life purpose!  Witnessing first hand, the fruits of our effort here was truly a joy and a delight.  We were able to gift our 'business women' with Vera Bradley bags.  Oh, they have no idea who Vera is but, they loved the gift and the beautiful bright colors of the bags.  What they loved even more was a chance to live! 

Consider this, the next time you 'bless' yourself with that 'must have' item, why don't you set aside a little bit more money and bless another person who would love a better life?    Hands of Hope ( (http://www.handsofhopeonline.org/) )

The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving. Albert Einstein

P.S.  I found this Vera Bradley note set on the desk off one of the pastors the day we were leaving Mongu.  Way to go Vera you have made your presence known around the world. :) :)